I am a big advocate of teaching your children to feed themselves.  Why?

• It teaches them independence
• It gives them empowerment (although some people may not agree on this point)
• It gives me free time to do something else
• It enables me to eat my meal too
• It’s entertaining and a challenge
• Maybe they are really ready

It always starts from the parents.  If parents don’t give their children a chance at self-feeding - who will?  I think my attitude towards self-feeding cascades to other areas (dressing themselves, going wee wee, bathing themselves).  I know some local HK parents may think that I’m pushing independence too early (or I’m being lazy), but I see it as a milestone that gives them empowerment. 

Babies as young as 6-8 months who can sit up and develop the pincer grasp are already SCREAMING for self-feeding.  You see this when they reach for your food or across the table - so why postpone this natural phenomenon?  I’ve started letting my 1.5 year old daughter feed herself almost everything.  She’s able to do it with a little tub of yogurt (although not 100% goes in her mouth), but now the empowerment has gotten so powerful, that everything has to be done herself.  So at meal times, I ensure there is always something she can self-feed and I supplement.  It works out great!  My eldest still needs assistance because eating to her is probably the lowest priority, but with foods she enjoys (like yogurt and ice cream), you can be sure it’s self-feeding all the way.

Here are some tips that I use when promoting self-feeding:

• Food size is appropriate.  Bite-sized and elimination of chocking hazards.
• Rotate utensils.  Children’s chopsticks are great to promote self-feeding!  It’s fun, it’s new, it’s effective!  I also have a variety of forks, spoons and even teethless knives for them to spread the JAM themselves.
• Rotation of interesting foods.  You can’t expect them to be thrilled at rice if they’re eating it everyday.  Mix in some chopped veggies, cereals, yogurt, soups and a variety of new foods.
• Encourage the positive.  Children respond EXTREMELY well to praise.  They beam with self-pride and will even show-off if encouraged.
• The perfect environment.  An appropriate chair at a good height enables them a good starting point.  What good is the software if you don’t even have the right hardware?
• Give 2 choices.  Do you want to feed yourself soup or rice?  I don’t even ask if they want to feed themselves, that’s assumed!
• Use a chore chart to positively reinforce and reward.
• Set an example.  This doesn’t necessarily apply to self-feeding (who else is going to feed me? MY HUSBAND? AHAHAHAHA).  I say this as in proper table manners, no TV during meals (it should be dedicated to family time), and healthy food choices.
• Don’t let the meal drag.  Some parents may feel that it’s important to feed until their children are full, but as a working parent - I don’t have the luxury to sit all day and WAIT for them to eat or much less allow them to PLAY that much with their food (a little bit is OK).  If the meal has been going for over an hour, I usually call it quits.
• Stablize the mess.  BIG, WATER-PROOF bibs are your friends - or just go topless (if you’re brave enough to do it publicly,  take pictures!)

Good luck and let me know how it goes!  It really is a life saver at dinner time, especially if both children can self-feed.  Vanessa will be self-feeding at school next year anyways.  My in-laws wanted to hold off her going to school past half day because they were scared she’d starve herself at school.  Children will never allow themselves to starve.  Isn’t “I’m Starving” one of the first things your children scream right from the womb?  Children starving themselves is a parent-created fear that we impose on them.  It’s just ensuring that when they are hungry and ready to eat, we have the right choices for them.  Yah yah, more anal parenting from yours truly.