Many of my friends are pretty impressed that I’ve managed to get my 6-month old baby to sleep independently (meaning, no mommy around most of the time - no helper either OK?).  She will be bathed, fed, burped and put down in her cot ALONE and AWAKE and will eventually drift off to sleep.

I am writing this post as a continuation of a previous post “Kids Need Sleep“.  So if you’re new to this post, I’d suggest reading that first to get a better understanding of my very strong position on sleep and children - although the title itself already states it. 

Let me begin by talking about how Vanessa gained independence into sleeping.  She established it completely at the age of 2 years and 3 months.  Some may think that it’s too long, but in all fairness, every child is unique and every parenting method of that child is unique, so because I was the main caregiver and she’s a normally developing child, I will say NO, it wasn’t too long FOR HER.  Because she was the first child and the first grand child (on both sides), I must admit that my inexperience and her grandparents spoilage that we apted to not let her cry too much.  This meant that she had to be rocked to sleep with a pacifier until she was in such a deep sleep that whence putting her down, she wouldn’t stir.  I think many parents go through the problem of putting their child down, only to have them jolt awake and the cycle begins anew.  It got to the point where it would take a good half hour of pacing up and down my hallway until she slept deep enough to be put down.  Then when put down, she would only sleep for 20 minutes and then wake up crying.  My goodness!  I did try cry-it-out, lasting a solid 8 minutes before I broke down and then called my husband home.  Eventually, we migrated to a co-sleeping arrangement that worked much better, but this arrangement won’t last long because of baby #2.  Finally, we got Vanessa into her own room (via accompaniment) and then convinced her we needed to leave the room for various reasons, only to find that she’s fallen asleep.  Perfect.

Victoria, I vowed not to coddle like Vanessa.  For starters, managing two children under the same roof (with different needs) can be very stressful.  So as early as 4 months, I tried a quasi-cry-it-out.  With a steel back and thinning patience, it is a very successful combination.  My cry-it-out isn’t exactly leaving her to cry and checking on her periodically.  My quasi CIO is actually a pacifier version.  Placing her in her cot awake with a pacifier in her mouth.  She would squirm and cry, but eventually take to the pacifier (very quickly too).  The first few instances probably took about 20 minutes of on and off crying and sucking of the pacifier, but it worked.  Consistency is key and at every nap and bed time, we would go through the same routine.  She still isn’t the great pacifier sucker like Vanessa is, but we’ve encouraged her to use it as a sleep aid.  She is now put down on her tummy, pacifier in mouth, baby monitor on and I will leave the room.  As pictured above, I guess she was playing by herself and managed to flip over with pacifier in hand and fell asleep.  Another perfect ending.  The great thing about this method is that anyone can check up on her if the pacifier falls out.  My husband or helper can both lend a hand (and this becomes very useful because sometimes you have Vanessa screaming in the background).  Imagine, trying to console your two year old while trying to put your baby to sleep via rocking - it’s doable I suppose, but at the cost of my sanity.  I’m very happy with the progress of her sleep (and sleeping method) and wish I could have done the same with Vanessa, but you learn as a parent and do what is comfortable for you.  I am not an advocate of CIO simply because my heart isn’t there.  I’m also not an advocate of coddling your children to sleep because it’s not entirely necessary (unless you have the time and patience).  I really fall somewhere in the middle (but lean towards the softer side).  As long as the sleeping methodology works for you and your family and very key, your kids are getting SUFFICIENT sleep (as are you), then all is well.